Families match backgrounds; the two people getting married have to match expectations. These conversations are easier before the engagement than after the wedding.
About daily life
- Where will we live: with the family, in the same city, or elsewhere? What does each of us prefer, and why?
- How do we each see work and career after marriage, including after children?
- How do we like to spend our time: weekends, festivals, holidays, friends?
About family
- How involved do we expect each family to be in everyday decisions?
- What responsibilities does each of us already have towards parents or siblings?
- How will we divide festivals and visits between the two homes?
About money
- How do we think about spending and saving? Are there loans or commitments the other should know about?
- Will we manage money together, separately, or a mix of both?
About the future
- Do we want children, and roughly when?
- Is either of us hoping to move to another city or abroad, or to study further?
How to have these conversations
Ask with curiosity, not as a test. There are no correct answers, only honest ones. If your views differ, notice how the other person handles the difference: whether they listen, explain and look for a middle way. That tells you more than agreement would.
It is also wise to speak about health openly, on both sides. These talks usually follow the first meeting between the families; for the kundli side, see guna milan in plain words.
A yes given after these conversations is a steadier yes. And if the talks show that your hopes are very different, it is better for both families to know now, and part with respect.